A military veteran who relies on disability payments while attending college found herself in financial crisis after her boyfriend secretly used her debit card for months, leaving her roughly $1,000 short on her mortgage payment.
The woman shared her story on the r/AITAH subreddit, explaining that the problem came to light while she was visiting her mother and preparing for a friend's wedding she'd already paid for completely. When her card unexpectedly declined during a purchase, she checked her account and discovered several unauthorized charges that triggered her first overdraft in years, adding approximately $500 in fees to her already strained budget.
She manages household expenses using disability payments as her primary income source while caring for their 3-year-old son and attending school. Her carefully planned budget covers the mortgage and basic household needs, making unexpected charges particularly damaging to her financial stability.
Steam Games and Hidden Purchases Add Up
The initial account review revealed about $90 in Steam gaming charges connected to her boyfriend. When she called to ask how he'd used her card when she physically had it with her, he explained the card numbers must have been saved on his phone.
That admission prompted her to dig deeper into older statements, where she uncovered a pattern of additional unauthorized purchases including breakfast foods, more games, and groceries she never approved. Making matters worse, she realized that some of the reimbursements he'd given her previously didn't match the actual amounts he'd spent. Once she compared those payments carefully against her banking history, the discrepancies became obvious.
The unauthorized spending came on top of another problem: he hadn't contributed his portion of the mortgage payment. The combination of missing mortgage money, unapproved charges, and bills she'd already paid explained the overdraft that caught her completely off guard.
Wedding Plans Become a Flashpoint
She'd paid for both of their plane tickets, along with the hotel and rental car, for a wedding happening in one week. Despite having zero financial responsibility for the trip, her boyfriend repeatedly asked whether they could cancel because he felt unprepared financially. According to her account, he dismissed the event as "her friend's wedding" to justify not contributing anything toward the costs.
When she finally confronted him about the unauthorized charges and the mortgage shortfall, his response was particularly galling: he told her she now understood "how it feels living paycheck to paycheck." This comment landed poorly, considering she was already managing an extremely tight budget on disability income while caring for their child and attending school.
Damage Control and Next Steps
She canceled his plane ticket to recover part of the unexpected costs and planned to have a serious conversation with him in person once she returned home.
The Reddit community responded with sharp reactions. One commenter wrote, "Your boyfriend treats you awfully. Is this really what you want to be dealing with the rest of your life?"
Another offered practical advice: "OP needs to cancel her card, get a new one, and lock down their credit."
The situation highlights how unauthorized card use can cascade into serious financial consequences, particularly for people managing tight budgets on fixed incomes. What started as seemingly small charges for games and groceries snowballed into overdraft fees and a potential mortgage crisis, all while the person making the charges had access to funds but chose to spend someone else's money instead.