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After 46 Years of Marriage, She's Weighing Divorce Against Death: 'Do I Just Wait Until He Dies?'

MarketDash Editorial Team
5 days ago
A Vancouver woman called into The Ramsey Show with a stunning question after discovering decades of infidelity and financial abandonment. Her husband hasn't paid a bill in 20 years, has been cheating for 30, and she's wondering whether divorce is worth it at this stage of life.

Some calls to financial advice shows are about budgeting tips or retirement planning. And then there's Sarah from Vancouver, whose question to The Ramsey Show hosts John Delony and Rachel Cruze left them momentarily stunned.

After 46 years of marriage, she asked: "Is it worth divorcing at this point in time, or do I just wait until he dies because he's not taking care of himself healthwise?"

Three Decades of Deception

The backstory is as grim as you'd imagine. Sarah's husband hasn't contributed a single dollar to household expenses in over 20 years. Sure, he paid off the mortgage back in the day, but as Sarah explained, "I paid for everything else. But then once the mortgage was paid for, which has been more than 20 years ago, he's quit paying for anything."

The financial abandonment was only part of the story. Sarah also discovered her husband has been cheating on her, likely with the same woman, for 30 years. She'd had suspicions before, given his shift work schedule and the way he guarded his phone, but he always brushed it off.

"I thought there was something going on a long time ago," she said. "When I confronted him, he just said, 'No, we're friends.'" The truth became undeniable when she came home from work one day over a year ago and found her husband and his longtime mistress in their backyard.

Delony's response captured the absurdity of it all: "Holy smokes. You've been divorced for 30 years. Y'all have just been living in the same house."

The Pension Problem

Sarah's dilemma isn't just emotional. She's worried about walking away from everything she's invested in the marriage, particularly potential access to her husband's pension. "I saw his will recently and it has not been changed," she noted. At the same time, she suspects there may be a hidden bank account benefiting the other woman, though she admitted she has no proof.

Delony and Cruze didn't prescribe a specific course of action, but they made it clear Sarah wasn't crazy for feeling betrayed and confused.

"You've been cheated on financially. You've been cheated on romantically. Your whole marriage has been based in deception," Delony told her.

He also touched on something deeper: the erosion of self-trust that comes with this kind of betrayal. "One of the things that nobody ever talks about is that scary, terrifying realization that you don't trust you either."

What's Next?

Both hosts encouraged Sarah to build a support network and seek professional help to navigate her options, whether financial, legal or emotional. The path forward isn't simple when you're weighing decades of sunk costs against the possibility of reclaiming your life.

Delony closed with advice borrowed from personal finance expert Dave Ramsey: "When your spirit leaves, let your body leave, too."

For Sarah, that decision is still pending. But at least now she knows she's not alone in recognizing just how broken things have become.

Back to News

After 46 Years of Marriage, She's Weighing Divorce Against Death: 'Do I Just Wait Until He Dies?'

MarketDash Editorial Team
5 days ago
A Vancouver woman called into The Ramsey Show with a stunning question after discovering decades of infidelity and financial abandonment. Her husband hasn't paid a bill in 20 years, has been cheating for 30, and she's wondering whether divorce is worth it at this stage of life.

Some calls to financial advice shows are about budgeting tips or retirement planning. And then there's Sarah from Vancouver, whose question to The Ramsey Show hosts John Delony and Rachel Cruze left them momentarily stunned.

After 46 years of marriage, she asked: "Is it worth divorcing at this point in time, or do I just wait until he dies because he's not taking care of himself healthwise?"

Three Decades of Deception

The backstory is as grim as you'd imagine. Sarah's husband hasn't contributed a single dollar to household expenses in over 20 years. Sure, he paid off the mortgage back in the day, but as Sarah explained, "I paid for everything else. But then once the mortgage was paid for, which has been more than 20 years ago, he's quit paying for anything."

The financial abandonment was only part of the story. Sarah also discovered her husband has been cheating on her, likely with the same woman, for 30 years. She'd had suspicions before, given his shift work schedule and the way he guarded his phone, but he always brushed it off.

"I thought there was something going on a long time ago," she said. "When I confronted him, he just said, 'No, we're friends.'" The truth became undeniable when she came home from work one day over a year ago and found her husband and his longtime mistress in their backyard.

Delony's response captured the absurdity of it all: "Holy smokes. You've been divorced for 30 years. Y'all have just been living in the same house."

The Pension Problem

Sarah's dilemma isn't just emotional. She's worried about walking away from everything she's invested in the marriage, particularly potential access to her husband's pension. "I saw his will recently and it has not been changed," she noted. At the same time, she suspects there may be a hidden bank account benefiting the other woman, though she admitted she has no proof.

Delony and Cruze didn't prescribe a specific course of action, but they made it clear Sarah wasn't crazy for feeling betrayed and confused.

"You've been cheated on financially. You've been cheated on romantically. Your whole marriage has been based in deception," Delony told her.

He also touched on something deeper: the erosion of self-trust that comes with this kind of betrayal. "One of the things that nobody ever talks about is that scary, terrifying realization that you don't trust you either."

What's Next?

Both hosts encouraged Sarah to build a support network and seek professional help to navigate her options, whether financial, legal or emotional. The path forward isn't simple when you're weighing decades of sunk costs against the possibility of reclaiming your life.

Delony closed with advice borrowed from personal finance expert Dave Ramsey: "When your spirit leaves, let your body leave, too."

For Sarah, that decision is still pending. But at least now she knows she's not alone in recognizing just how broken things have become.