Here's a fun way to destroy a relationship: lend your partner money, tell them one thing about repayment, let them follow through for two years, then claim you never agreed to any of it. That's exactly what happened according to a woman posting on Reddit's r/AITAH, who says her boyfriend is now denying their entire repayment arrangement.
The original poster explains she fell behind on rent during COVID, and her boyfriend covered the $12,000 she owed. He had been paying for groceries because he earned significantly more than she did. But at some point, he told her that if she paid for groceries, it would count toward paying back the debt. So she started covering them.
For two years, she kept up her end of what she thought was their agreement. She says he never corrected her understanding and watched her follow through while she covered most of their shared costs. Then, after Thanksgiving, everything fell apart. He told her "none of that counts" and insisted she still owed him the full $12,000.
The Math She Was Working With
The woman wasn't just buying a bag of chips here and there. She says she covered between 80% and 90% of their groceries each month, averaging around $800. On top of that, she paid for a monthly activity they did together, which ran between $400 and $800.
Her calculations show her contributions totaled between $28,800 and $38,400 over the two-year period. That's more than double the original debt, and she believed every dollar was going toward what she owed him.
How Money Problems Poisoned Everything
According to the poster, the debt didn't just sit quietly in the background. Her boyfriend refused to celebrate holidays and birthdays with her, saying she still owed him money. Conversations about repayment regularly turned into arguments, which made her avoid bringing it up at all.
"I had faith it would level out and we'd find ways to make things a bit more balanced," she wrote. "Or as assumed, I'm a complete idiot."
The situation reached a new low after Thanksgiving when he canceled her discounted car insurance coverage during yet another argument about the same debt.
What Reddit Had To Say
The comment section didn't hold back. Many responses focused on whether she kept records and how she should handle the situation going forward.
"Not the a** hole — back date and invoice him for his share of the groceries and dates. Tell him since there was a misunderstanding, he needs to pay his share in cash," one commenter wrote.
Another pointed out the documentation problem: "She should look for her receipts, or card statements, but I don't think OP is that financially savvy. She should have known when she got close to the amount owed by mental tabulation."
The consensus seemed clear: if none of her payments counted toward the debt, then he owes her for his share of everything she paid for over those two years. The question now is whether she has the receipts to prove it.