When $1,000 a Month Doesn't Feel Like Enough
Nothing says "we need to talk about money" quite like returning from the mall with an existential crisis. A stay-at-home mom's offhand comment about feeling poor after spending $100 triggered a surprisingly blunt response from her husband, who earns $130,000 annually. His suggestion that maybe she should get a job didn't go over well, and the ensuing silence led him to Reddit's r/AITAH subreddit to unpack what happened.
The story centers on a couple in their late 30s who've been married for 13 years. She's been a stay-at-home mom for almost their entire marriage, aside from a brief stint doing delivery work. They have two children, ages 14 and 11, with the older child not biologically his. They live in a low-cost-of-living city, and for years, the arrangement worked without major friction.
"You should've seen all those people with a lot of bags spending $800+ and here I was spending only $100, I felt poor," she told her husband after the mall visit. His response was immediate: "Well, if you feel poor, maybe it's time for you to get a job." She went silent and walked away, leaving the issue hanging in the air.
The Financial Arrangement Under Scrutiny
Here's how their finances work. The husband covers all household expenses and gives his wife $1,000 each month as discretionary "fun money." That's separate from bills, savings, and a designated fund for gifts. The mall trip in question was purely personal shopping, not family necessities.
The wife now feels that monthly amount isn't cutting it anymore. While he acknowledges he could increase it, he prefers funneling extra income toward investments. She, on the other hand, tends to push for more spending and less investing. It's a classic tension between present consumption and future security.
The husband notes that his wife frequently compares their lifestyle to friends who travel more often or drive newer cars. His counterpoint? Most of those households have two incomes. The comparison feels unfair to him when they're operating on a different economic model entirely.
It's worth noting that when they were dating, she said she wanted to work, and he expressed a clear preference for a dual-income household. After marriage, she chose to stay home to avoid missing precious time with the children as they grew up. That decision reshaped their entire financial trajectory.
What Reddit Had to Say
The post exploded with thousands of comments, many questioning the wife's perception of poverty. One person cut straight to the heart of it: "Guess who's not at the mall spending anything? Poor people. Her data set is flawed."
Another commenter offered a different diagnosis: "My personal theory? She doesn't need more money, she needs more to do. I'm not sure I could spend $1k a month in 'fun' money."
The perspective check came hard from people living on fixed incomes. "I literally survive on a fixed income of not much more than her spending money. Maybe she doesn't understand what being poor is really like," one person wrote.
The debate touches on something deeper than dollars and cents. It's about purpose, identity, and how we measure our lives against others. When you're surrounded by people carrying shopping bags totaling $800, spending $100 can feel like deprivation, even when objectively it's a luxury many can't afford. The husband's response was harsh, but it exposed a fundamental disagreement about work, money, and expectations that's been simmering beneath the surface of their marriage for years.